Valentine's advice

Yes, two new posts in 12 hours...how about that.

A few quick pointers for this most contrived of all Hallmark Holidays. Some of these are borrowed from my good friend Erik Kuselias of ESPN radio, the rest are mine...you figure it out.
1. If she has to work today, you better get something delivered to her there. By four o'clock she will want you dead as others get their gifts and she doesn't.
2. Please make it something she wants, not something you want her to want. Sexy this, or smelly that is not what she's looking for (if she doesn't already like it).
3. If she says it's not important to her, get her something anyhow...just do it.
4. If she says it's not important and really means it, you are blessed. Buy her something anyhow.
5. Make her a card, don't buy one. If you are not creative, just write a note (more than two lines) it will go much farther than a $4 card.
6. Ladies, agree to do something with him that he knows you don't want to do, and enjoy it (sports event, his restaurant, his t.v.).
7. DO NOT BUY HIM FLOWERS.
8. For you married women, hit the Victoria's Secret like it's a pinata and you don't have a blindfold.
9. Ladies, you may buy us something you like us to wear (clothes, perfume). We are not scared or sensitive (this doesn't work the other way around, see #2) and would love to know you like what we look like or smell like.
10. For my unattached readers, when you ask someone out for a first date ask them to go for ice cream at the best place in town. If they say no, it's you. Everyone likes ice cream.