March Sweetness!!!

Ok, I was going to post on some serious topics. The farce of Global Warming (yeah, it's a farce and I will post on it at some point), Barrack Hussein Obama's spiritual mentor being a racist hate monger http://www.newsmax.com/kessler/Obama_Church_Racism/2008/01/07/62285.html John McCain being 40% of the candidate I'd vote for (still leading by the way...sigh), the government aided/caused financial crisis are all topics I thought of perusing. As it is, a more lighthearted topic arose.
With the brackets for the NCAA tournament being revealed today and Pitt being predicted to win it all by Bobby Knight (read: "Hey Indiana, I used to be your coach, hire Jamie Dixon" out of that prediction) I had a fun, senseless, idea. Why not have the ultimate bracket of sweet things. No, not like Swedish fish dipped in corn syrup and rolled in pixie stix sweet, but sweet as in, "Dude, that is so sweeeeeet."
For example, it is so sweet when you hit a golf ball (or softball) so hard and perfect that you barely even feel it and it just flies. Another would be sleeping in on a chillyrainy day with the windows open while under many covers. A third would be when you think you really have to poop but when you sit on the toilet you let out a high near whistle "toot" that last for 10 glorious seconds.
So, I will compile a list of the first 65 things people suggest as the sweetest things. I will then reveal them and we will go over and eliminate them until we have the sweetest thing ever.
Here are the rules.
1. No entries related to God/Faith/Ministry. This would be unfair and make the rest of the entries trivial when the point is that they are all somewhat trivial.
2. Nothing x rated...'nuff said.
3. Nothing mean spirited. I deem what is mean (and I know mean).
4. All entries must be submitted before Wednesday at 11:59 p.m.
5. The top 65 will be revealed on Thursday.

Ok, here we go. I will take entries in person but will give special consideration to any entered through a comment to this page. By the way, the examples mentioned are already in the tourney.

ps-please do not wager on whether or not I will actually follow through on this.

HONK!!!

How many of you, you being people who drive with a modicum of responsibility, have had multiple people honk at you when you are driving? Further, how many of you have actually had people yell out the window at you?

Both have happened to me but I think that I have cornered the market on female yellers. Once I was going the wrong way, knew it, and was going 5 miles an hour on a 3o ft. wide road, (the entrance/exit to Linton Jr. High just after they switched directions). I stayed way to the right and crept up the ramp. A lady came flying around the corner and screamed out her window (20 ft. away from me) "You son of a %itch!!!". I had to stop the car I was laughing so much. This was the only time I could have been considered in the wrong at all.

I have had females yell out the window at me no less than 5 times. I am committing right here on this blog to follow the next one (at a safe distance) no matter long it takes, and eventually asking them, "What's wrong? Are you ok? Why are you so angry? Can I pray for you? Who pooped in your Cheerios? Did you vote for John Kerry?"

Now, I put this in the same category as the, "I'm going to write a letter of complaint!" which never happens. We all know I won't but it's nice to dream. What scares me is that a guy who rolled through a stop sign honked at me the other day. I knew he would so I turned and acted surprised while yelling "Heyyyyyyyyyy" and waved out the window as if we were long lost friends. He must be gruff with his friends as he gave me the finger. Have I branched out to irrational male hate as well? What could the spring hold for me as windows come down again?

Pouring money down the drain...

Why do you suppose it is, that in this "green" world we live in, that there is no method to save all of the water that you waste while waiting for it to become hot? Now, don't get me wrong. I care about the environment but am far, far, far from being "green" or even caring (please stop back for my "Global Warming is a Crock of Endangered Polar Bear Crap" post). My complaint is monetary. You see, we here in Penn Hills used to save money on waste management by not managing it and pumping said waste directly into the river. Well, the EPA rightfully found that to be egregious and fined us 1 billion dollars (or something like that, may as well have been). For the past ten years rather than paying for it like we thought we were, we were just paying the interest. So, next year, our water costs $8.00 gallon (or something like that, I may be exaggerating by several 100%). This leaves me wishing that I had a way of not pouring money down the drain, waiting for it to get hot. And yet, none exists.

MMA!!!

For those of you who know me, I'm sure you're shocked that I haven't posted yet on MMA. Sweet news today. EliteXC (partner of Showtime) announced that they have made a deal to partner with C freakin' BS to show 4 live shows on Saturday nights!!! That's MMA on network tv boys and girls. The IFL has been on MyTV or whatever network that is but so have I, I believe. Tell me, how much boxing do you see on live network tv during primetime? Oh yeah, there's none. Why? Because boxing is poop (this is objective) compared to MMA! Further, for more details, check out MMAJunkie.

EDIT: The UFC announced today that they have signed on Bud Light as a primary sponsor. This is monstrous news as well inasmuch that it gives even more legitimacy to MMA as a sport. This will open the door for other companies to do business with the UFC and MMA in general. Huge deal for the UFC and MMA. Will all due respect though.....R.I.P. Mickee's.

Yoi! I'm sad?

Myron Cope died today. He was old, that's what old people do. They die. Yet I'm sad. I am surprisingly sad. I didn't love him. He was fine. I didn't not like him. He was just Myron Cope. Crazy, unintelligible, passionate, loyal, funny, remarkable, inventor of the "Terrible Towel", he was many things. Why am I sad?
Part of me is sad for the simple fact that he became like a grandfather to Steelers fans. You know, that crazy old man that you don't quite get but you love him. As he got older you got more nervous anytime he talked for fear of him saying something just ridiculous. You cared about his stories about the old times but not enough to really listen. You felt bad about that but not enough to listen more the next time. Now, he's gone.
Another part of me is sad because he represents something that is missing in today's world. The strong man. Now, he could barely lift three pirogi to his mouth in his prime let alone as he got older but I mean strong in different way. He was old school, he was who he was. You didn't like it? Pound salt. He called any woman he worked with "girlie" no matter what their age. Sexist? Sure. Did he do with it with mal-intent? No. He drank. Too much? Sometimes. Did he hide it or go to therapy? No. He was old school. I heard today that he could dance. At weddings he would dance every dance with either his wife or any other woman there. The women would line up to dance with him. Why? Because he was old school and knew how to lead a woman (even if he only came up to their shoulders). Very few younger people know that he was originally a sports writer, a very accomplished sports writer. Only after years of writing did he begin to do broadcasting. He wrote nothing like he spoke. They were two different mediums to him. Why? Because he was old school.
Lastly, I wonder if I'm sad because it's another bit of my youth, slipping away (well, gone). It's in the back of your head when you get older..."when will I be old?". This doesn't help. Now, I don't really care, at least I think I don't. But maybe it is why I'm sad. Maybe.
If you read this and have thought, "huh, I didn't ever really think about that crazy old Myron Cope before...what a shame." Then seek out and listen to Beano Cook. He is a grumpy old man who knows everything about football (especially college) and (because he is old school) politics, history and life. Further, if you have that old man in your life, listen to him for just a few minutes, he may just say something remarkable. He may offend you or go off in a rant about walnuts or something, but he may just teach you something.

New Christians....

I really wish there was an outlet to hear about people coming to know Christ. I believe each story is a miracle. Further, I believe that Christians who are stuck in their pews would have a much better chance of reaching out to others if they did in fact see that people could come to know Christ. Imagine the stories you would hear and the hope that they would give you for loved ones or people you are trying to love with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I have many of those stories stocked up after 11 years in ministry. I tell each of them from time to time. I think I will talk of them more often. Big Bill anyone? Jim Bradley? What about a little early "BVon"? Let me walk you through a guy I like to call, "Chris Gongaware". But wait, you don't know about Maura O'Donnel? You've never heard of Chris (ok, I forget his last name), Jenn Bergman, and the weird chick from Gateway? What about my boy that we got out of Shuman to go to camp? He had to paint every morning as community service.
The stories are many. Yet each of you who believe are a miracle as well (very often not as funny but a miracle). Start by telling your story. No, not all of the details of your sin. Just let people know how much the Lord means to you by living for Him today. Love someone, love them until they ask you why you care. Then, tell them how Christ loved you first, and loves them too. It's not hard.

"Energy Crisis" Cost of oil goes to 1 billion dollars a barrel...or whatever.

Idiocy: We are dependent on foreign oil. That's bad. We buy oil from countries that will do us harm. That's bad. They use the money to fund terrorism. That's bad. To stabilize these hostile regions of the world we send troops in harm way. That's bad. In order to do that we are fighting two wars in the middle east or one war on two fronts. That's bad. This costs tons of money and weakens our economy. That's bad. So what are we do? We don't have any oil here...right?
Truth: We do have oil...tons...literally. In Alaska, we have enough oil to supplant 15 years of foreign oil. Off of the Gulf Coast we have even more. Look west and you'll find oil off of that coast as well. So what's the problem? Oh, it will harm the environment if we drill there? Hmmm, so will a nuclear attack from the middle east. And yet, there is no proof that it will harm the environment. Drilling is currently going on off of the Gulf anyway, but not by us. They stay in International waters and drill at an angle toward the coast...nice. But WE can't! Why? Because of politics. The environmental lobby groups pound Capitol Hill into submission (because they are weak...like the Ukraine) and they acquiesce (I spelled that correctly on the fist try). We haven't even built an oil refinery in over 30 years due to government regulations. Dumb. Yeah, you'll get that kind of sharp linguistic jujitsu here. I say it again, dumb.
Common Sense: I'm all for the environment...just not for environmental anti capitalist pro socialist front groups. Let's drill, aggressively. While we drill, we build nuclear plants. Yes, that nuclear energy that was so dangerous and forgotten about in the 90's that has yet to ever cause loss of life here in the United States (Chernobyl was outdated, under and mismanaged and not possible here). Create huge incentives for research into new fuel technologies by freeing the tax burden on companies that fund said research (in other words, get the government out of the way of companies that want to create). Ahhhhhhhhh, that feels good. I fixed our foreign oil problem all the while taking a break to help Rachel and the kids make whole grain applesauce muffins (with flaxseed meal, be very afraid).
And Another Thing: Do not talk to me about ethanol. Our present love affair with corn as fuel is as befuddling as young girls looking up to Paris Hilton. Food prices are through the roof due to government incentives to raise corn for fuel, leaving less for consumption. We have less to feed the world (which we do more than you'd ever realize), less for us at home, and less space (and farmers willing) to grow other crops. Beyond that, it actually has a larger carbon footprint (I can't believe I used that term) than fossil fuels because of the energy it takes to create and that it has to be delivered by truck instead of pipelines (too caustic). Harrumph!